Something happened in the last few weeks that I can't shake off.
You see, I've been knitting away on this sweater, my own take on the Harbor Sweater (the construction for my own is different, so the resemblance is really only the colorwork stitches). I thought it looked fine. My color choice was bold, a little outside my comfort zone, but sometimes you gotta try new thing. I picked a navy for the main color. You know, the one that wouldn't work for my Marius sweater? Then I added the leftover ball of white, also from my Marius, for the center colorwork stripe.
But for the third color, the one that adds the most contrast, I kept hesitating. Lime green or light pink? I finally opted for lime green.
After working on the second colorwork striping sequence, I started to doubt myself. Was it too much? Would I really want to wear this?
The Harbor Sweater by Ozetta.
Photo credit: Ozeetta: Hailey Smedley
In all honesty, I considered frogging it. And casting on again, swapping the lime green for a light pink. But then I decided to go through with it. I was already almost half-way done. Why would I undo all that progress?
And by the time I was binding off the body, I was fine with my decision. Instead of working the sleeves in the colorwork pattern, I opted to knit them all in the main color. Fewer bright and bold stripes to blind me when I'm wearing it. It would tone it down, I told myself.
But then, something happened. My daughter walked by me. With a single glance at the project on my lap, she said those dreaded words. Words that can break a knitter's heart and take all the motivation out of your project on the needle.
"This sweater is ugly."
She let it out as a statement, not to be contested or debated. She wasn't trying to be mean, or to hurt my feelings. She was just letting out an ugly truth.
This sweater is ugly.
And as much as it hurt to hear it, a part of me also got upset because maybe she was right. I did second-guess myself halfway through. Even I wasn't sure it would be pretty enough to wear outside the house.
When I shared this with a good friend of mine, her response was quick. She snapped: "Why would you trust the opinion of a 10 year-old child?"
And she was right. But also, she was wrong. Because that child is MY child, and that child simply had the courage to voice out loud what the little voice inside my head couldn't.
So here it is. I spent over a month working on an ugly sweater. And unlike the ugly duckling story, it's won't grow up to be prettier. It won't turn into a swan.
And it might be ugly to so many, but it's there. I finished it. I'm wearing it. It's "ugliness" doesn't take it's warmth away, and I can now file this under lessons learned. That maybe this color combo looked awesome before casting on, but now that it's all knit up it's not the best. It's too out there. The lime green was just too bright. I would've been better off sawpping the green with the white, but then I would've run out of yarn and the whole point was to use the white and green leftover.... Oh well. This is a lesson I can keep for my next project.
But honestly, who cares.
It's not the prettiest, but I could also have gone with a worse color combo. It's not as ugly as I felt it in my heart when my daughter voiced it out loud. It has qualities. Attributes. It keeps me warm. It has a great neckline. Long sleeves that go up to my knuckles. It fits me well. And I honestly believe that the color combo just needs some more time for me to get used to it.
This sweater is more than the colors it is made of. It is made of 100% superwash saniko merino wool. I spend hours working on it, working every single stitch. I poured love and attention into it, and I'm glad it exists.
So there it is. I made an ugly sweater and I'm wearing it. If it hurts your eyes, look away. And if you've ever felt like me, if someone ever broke your heart telling you that your handknit isn't pretty, don't let them ruin your day. Those people who made the comment, they don't know what they're talking about. They're only focussing on the 1 thing that could've been improved, forgetting about the many other attributes that makes your project so awesome.
As for my daughter, once I finished the sweater I let it linger on the living room coffee table for a while. and on one cold morning, the first thing my daughter did was grab it and put it on to keep her warm. When I pointed it out to her, she learned a lesson too. Even "ugly" things have a purpose and can bring joy and comfort to your life.
Knit on!
Here is a picture of my "ugly" sweater. Judge yourself!
Did you enjoy this article?
💌 Join the newsletter to get more just like it; plus new product alerts, sales, freebies, and more delivered straight to your inbox. We respect your privacy and will never sell your information.